The City Stories Project - Chan Meng's Personal Website

I would rather be a fat house cat, with a lonely soul and blindly trust everyone. I wish life that simple and easy.

It is not easy to please everyone. In the end, you will have to tackle all the problems by yourself and get prepared to face criticisms and judgements. Do you have the faith on yourself to stand against them and defend what you believe?

I have been fascinated by a movie called twilight and a band called muse for days. This can be labelled as melancholic. I first heard of this word from Christopher Bailey for his urban-birds-look show for 2008-Fall.

Also there is another fascinating world hiding behind numbers. Still, I believe numbers are the truth of this wide world. It takes great effort to disguise them, and takes much more to cover the lies up.

Yes, I think this is the way I am. And I shall not miss anything.

"When we wake up in the morning, we have two simple choices. Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams. Choice is yours"

The thing I have been busy with has finally settled the end of last month. Still, as usual, friends and families are happy for you; other irrelevant ones are trying to find flaws or excuses. It is easier to see the others’ luck instead of great efforts behind. And it is the easiest excuse for themselves. Whatever, if they can feel better, I do not mind what the others view me. No need to explain anything. The persons like you do not need it. The persons dislike you will not believe it.

It is not easy to get the balls rolling and rolling. Stress, frustration, self-doubt are good friends to tiredness. This world is indeed colourful itself. Some friend woke up in one morning then decided to find peace among big budda and old architectures. So she packed a bag and went on a trip on her own. Some friend keeps on migrating from one man to the other and do not know which one is her final destination. Everyone is so busy with his or her own logic and own value system.

In the end, whatever choices you make, it is your life and the dream is yours. It is you who have to defend it.

Happy kids cannot read through the pretty scene and laughter and find the tears hiding deep inside.

I really do love this story. Although the popular trend is to criticize the girl who has fallen in love with the married man, suddenly, I think, she might have no intention to hurt anyone from the beginning till the end, except herself. She is just a silly and vulnerable kid who happened to fall in love with the wrong one. Do not be cheated by her strong outlook. She deserves someone to spoil her, to cherish her and never hurt her.

If, love can not be explained, neither can it be reasoned. Then, it should not be judged.

The scene in the movie is really beautiful. It reminds me of my childhood. When daddy brought me on his business trip, the car passed sunflower fields exactly like the ones appeared in the movie. And the cliff above the sea, when I saw it in real life, my heart shrank and hurt. This is the real life. How can a man be bigger than the real life?

The first week of 2009 is the longest week for years. Many things have crashed together, work, exam, family issue, and friendship. I fell ill after work and exam submissions were done. I turned off every channel, my mobile, msn, and closed the door. This is not the end of the world, but it is something about trust and faith.

Actually, God forgot to create another half for me whom I can trust with my future forever. But God still loves me and he wants me to lead a complete life no matter I am alone or not. And this is my destiny. Probably I will go to the church and be a Christian after Chinese New Year.

I will practice my rusty cooking skills, join dance classes, manage to run half marathon, learn to build up a portfolio, have many sweet friends, learn to speak Cantonese, change my English accent, and etc, many other secret wishes. Umm, I do have a very long wish list for 2009.

There is one prayer I have liked for a long time. "May God grant us the serenity to accept the things that cannot be changed, the courage to change the things which can be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish between them." (Reinhold Niebuhr (1928))